is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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