get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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