This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
