i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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