I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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