ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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