i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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