I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
