It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
