if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
