I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Randomize
