chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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