Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
