May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
