over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
