We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
