Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
