I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
