I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
