I want to have your abortion
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
