I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
