What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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