So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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