he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
