yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
