Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
