He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
