i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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