There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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