Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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