Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
