HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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