Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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