I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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