no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
