I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
did i just pee glitter
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