Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
