The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
