Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize