Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
