Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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