Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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