Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
