We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
True strength comes from lack of pants
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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