I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
