Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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