3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I need help removing her.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
