Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
