JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
