i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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