Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
