So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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