By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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