Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
