Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
