youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
