Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have already put on my inside pants.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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