Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
