She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
