i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
being pregnant is like rehab
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
