I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
